Who is the Charismanglican?
My name is Joey Aszterbaum. I live in a small intentional community in Hemet, California with my wife Jolynne, our four kids, some friends and relatives. I love books, movies, music, theology and philosophy.
I used to make my living as a rock musician in the band skypark, and more recently as a mortgage loan consultant. Now I’m an associate photographer for my wife’s wedding photography business, Jolynne Photography.
In the late nineties I began a 7-year deconstruction of the Christian faith. Although I had been a believer for most of my life, now everything was up for grabs…the Bible, Christ’s divinity, truth itself.
I felt that this deconstruction, though painful and a bit frightening, was a good thing. Six or seven years into it, however, I began to wonder what would be left at the end. Or if there would ever be an end.
I had become really good at deconstruction, but I had a longing to actually ‘construct’ something. I knew what I didn’t believe, but I didn’t know what I actually believed.
When I shared my anxiety with a good friend of mine, he casually quoted Ecclesisastes: “There’s a time to tear down, and a time to build.”
It was a relief somehow. “Oh…okay. It’s still just time to tear down. A time to build will come.”
One of the more dramatic effects of this period in my life was that I was excommunicated from the church of my youth, an independent, ‘non-denominational’ evangelical church. Not only had my paradigm let me down…now I was actually being abandoned by my spiritual family.
I can think of no better word than ‘grace’ to describe how I avoided total cynicism regarding the church. Instrumental in that grace were these five authors: Brian McLaren, N.T. Wright, John Howard Yoder, William Cavanaugh, and Stanley Hauerwas.
After about a year of being ‘ecclesially homeless’, my family somehow fell into the liturgical tradition. We are a part of St. Alban’s, a small Episcopal church in Yucaipa, California.
After studying post-liberalism and the early church, I have come to see non-violent, self-giving, enemy-love at the heart of the gospel. I call myself a Christian anarcho-pacifist as my way of teasing out the implications of this discovery.
A useful (though inadequate) summary of all this:
I escaped from fundamentalism into liberalism.
I was rescued from liberalism by radical orthodoxy.
The gospel doesn’t make sense without non-violence.
Q: So, why do you call yourself the Charismanglican?
A: Because it’s easier to say than “Pentecosticopalian”.
Joey- I somehow got to your blog via a google search on the holocaust and cirque du soleil (don’t ask…) Anyway, I just wanted to say Hey & thanks for sharing your journey & insights here. I’ve always appreciated your thoughtful dialogue with my brother whenever I’ve had the opportunity to “listen in” via Facebook or some such medium. Now that I’ve found this blog, I’ll be checking in on it to see what interesting things you have to say :) And at the risk of sounding hokey and random, I just want to say thank you for the love that you & Jolynne have shown B&T and family. A friendship like yours is so rare in life and ministry, and I’m so glad they have great friends like you guys.
Abby, how kind of you to stop in and comment.
And how encouraging that my search engine optimization is maximally set to bring in the readers searching for cirque de soleil and the holocaust. That’s a VERY unique and desirable readership.
For the record…the wise friend in my story who shared from Ecclesiastes…that was Ben.
I found your site via catholicanarchy and i am so glad. your story sounds so similar to my own and i grew up not far from you, in murrieta. i look forward to getting to know your blog. thank you.
peace of christ.
As we say here in South Africa….
Niiiiice !!!
I have enjoyed having a look around, your journey is in some ways simular to mine.
I’ll be back
Be blessed
Andrew
Interesting life story you have! I’ve followed a similar (less interesting) path in that I was raised in the Christian church, kicked out of the Christian church, lived a wild child existence and then God’s love drew me back to where I am now.
Joey,
Was baptized and confirmed at Christ Chuch episcopal in my home town, then drifted away, came back to faith through charismatic/evangelical fellowships, had a crises of faith with politics of sorts and now returned to the church of my youth after about 25 years… not becaus eof politics.
Our stories are so similar it’s hilarious. I’m glad you found our blog which is, basically, a home for post liberal post charismatic anglican cathoevangelicals.
Mr. Hunt – I’m very glad to meet you. Of course, I’ve got you beat by a decade. Or is it the other way around?
Peace.
Probably, but were you a pastor’s son?
No. So you not only beat me by a decade, but against incredible odds.
Or were the odds against me, having been a zealous convert since age 12?
Who cares. Nice to feel just a little less alone.
Well written, not to mention, interesting !
(1) Have you studied other faiths or is your choice within the realms of the many Christian options?
(2) Soteriological are you an exclusivist, inclusivist, pluralist or universalist or some other flavor?
Hi Sabio, thanks for dropping in.
“(1) Have you studied other faiths or is your choice within the realms of the many Christian options?”
The words ‘study’, ‘faith’ and ‘choice’ mean something totally different to me now. The short answer:
Although I have read about and discussed other religions than Christianity, I have only been immersed in a lifelong discipleship to liberalism and global capitalism. Only relatively recently have I realized that faith in Christ isn’t compatible with the invisible religion of my youth.
At any rate, I certainly don’t want to think about Christianity in terms of ‘many options’. That would be a step backwards for me.
“(2) Soteriological are you an exclusivist, inclusivist, pluralist or universalist or some other flavor?”
I’m more convinced than ever that the only hope this world has is Jesus. How that works in practice is too long of a discussion for this page.
Stay in the conversation and thanks for dropping in :)
hey, found you from thom stark’s blog. he and i are good friends. I’m an episcopalian with a journey much like yours. my saviours were c.h. dodd, david bentley hart, rowan williams, graham ward, sarah coakley, eugene rogers, catherine pickstock, etc.
just wanted to say hi and let you know i’m adding you to my rss, so i’ll probably be hanging around a little.
I’ve read and loved a bit of DBH and the Archbishop. I need to check into the others that you wrote of.
McLaren and Wright were part of that deconstruction phase, but they had hints (especially Bishop Tom) of something more. I think that’s what helped me into my ‘rebuilding’ period.
Anyways, I’m glad to meet a fellow traveler and honored that you would consider subscribing. I don’t post prolifically, so I won’t clog up your feeder.
Good morning and what a pleasant discovery of your blog. I am bookmarking it for future enjoyment. I am also Episcopalian, and am interested in your journey.
Br. James Patrick n/Br. St. Gregory
My story is quite similar to yours, Joey, except I’m not an Anglican, but a Reformed Calvinist. And not many of us have been rescued by Radical Orthodoxy and we don’t exactly have a “non-violent” reputation. So thank God for people like James K.A. Smith! He has perhaps unwittingly (I’m a student of his) shown me another way.
How I wish my non-violent theology would result in a non-violent reputation!
Thanks for dropping in. And knock it off with that Calvinism stuff, wouldja? :)
Ha, Kuyper and Dooyeweerd made me do it!
[...] Pastor Kurt Willems on “Why Theology Matters”. (He is actually guest posting at Charismanglican. Kurt Willems hosts a blog where he and his friends post at groans from [...]
Joey, I am thrilled to have found your blog. I grew up in Churches of Christ and now am in seminary at CDSP. In a funny turn of events, someone recommended Bp. Tom, and I looked him up. The first item that popped up was a lecture he gave at Pepperdine, and I thought, “This must be safe.” Clearly, I’ve never been the same since.
Justin, thank you for stopping in. I look forward to your own unique contribution here. Maybe we will meet face to face sometime.
Hey there. I would say I’m on a theological journey as well. It’s interesting to read your story…
What I would like to ask is whether or not you still deny the divinity of Christ. Somehow I fail to see the point in combining rejection of Christ’s Deity with the word “orthodoxy”, unless one removes all traditional meaning from the word!
Thanks Charismanglican.
Brother Joey, your story is one that should be shared and you are not alone. Thank you for being so transparent about your personal walk of faith.
Thanks, Daniel…nice to meet you.
I recently learned about your blog, I think from the Christian Century blog list. I look forward to reading more of it.
I’m a former Oneness Pentecostal church pianist who found that coming out of the closet as a gay man was my way out. I tried out a number of churches from Unitarian to Catholic to Episcopal to United Methodist to Quaker until I finally found where I belong in a United Church of Christ-American Baptist merged congregation.
For the longest time I thought I was the only Pentecostal/Charismatic to transission to much more progressive faith.
Sam
sam-betweenhereandthere.blogspot.com
So glad to have you drop in, Sam. Please poke, prod, cajole, ridicule, celebrate and theorize with me :)
There are a slew of men who frequent my blog that were in the Assembly of God movement that also fell into what you might call “progressive” faith but that might be better described as postliberal. You might check out theophiliacs.com.
I just learned about Theophiliacs, too, and Unhasty.
I’m not sure I’m familiar with the term “postliberal.” Can you explain? Many in my faith community tend to call ourselves “progressive.” A friend used to tell me I’m a Charismatic Unitarian.
Sam
Postliberals can often seem quite traditional and conservative in some ways, and like radical leftists in others. If you want to know more about it you might check out philosophers Wittgenstein and MacIntyre and the theologians they influenced such as George Lindbeck and Hans Frei.
Or, if you want to go the fun route that I went, read everything you can get by Stanley Hauerwas, John Howard Yoder, and William Cavanaugh.
Refreshing to read your story. I’m on a similar journey..former Catholic, non-denom, Pentecostal, Episcopalian…Priest/Rector of an Anglican Church http://www.anglicanchurchoftheredeemer.org
I appreciate Haurwas’ commentary on Matthew as much as any commentary. Currently, I’m reading Suffering, Martyrdom and Rewards in Heaven by Josef Ton which is inspiring.
Blessings to you,
Craig Stephans
Hi Joey, just got to your blog from the EP blog. I’m an Anglican priest in Canada who grew up in the Pentecostal tradition and actually went to Pentecostal Bible College for 4 yrs to enter ministry with them. I’m also an adjunct professor at Wycliffe College at University of Toronto and have all my students read Hauerwas, Yoder, Barth, Cavanaugh, Ellul and Stringfellow.
Glad to meet you.
P+
Hello Father Pat! Thanks for visiting my blog. I’ve only dipped my toes in the waters of Barth and Ellul. Grace and peace to you and yours.
Joey,
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been using “Liturgacostamergent” for a little while to describe myself… :) I really like Charismanglican, tho.
Grace and peace,
Matt
Thanks :) Welcome.
Diggin’ on your blog… good stuff man. Thanks for finding me out there in Blogland!
Hi Joey! I can’t find any emails to you, so If I’ve contacted you already about this, forgive me. (Or I might have just seen you around Facebook that often.) Anyway, Mike Morrell and I really appreciate your blog, and think you’d be an excellent candidate for our Speakeasy Blogger Network. Do you like to review off-the-beaten path faith, spirituality, and culture books? Speakeasy puts interesting books in your hands at no charge to you. You only get books when you request them, and it’s free to join. Sign up here, if you’d like: http://thespeakeasy.info
You’re not on any contact lists, I promise; if you don’t respond, that’s it, and the invitation is open as long as you’re actively blogging. Hope you join us!
Hi Philip, thanks for stopping by. As you you might tell from the lack of recent posts, life has given me other assignments than blogging. While I’d love to collect interesting books, I’m not sure I can commit to blogging ‘em. I’ll leave your invitation for others. Thanks.